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Acting

December 12, 2008

music-of-the-underground1I still remember how excited I was when I found out there’s an English acting class held in Prague. I wasn’t searching for it, as I was so sure there’s nothing even remotely similar. I didn’t dare to hope for anything like it – because, quite frankly, Czech people (more often than not) suck at English and they enjoy being invisible way too much to voluntarily register for an acting class, not to mention an English one. Me, the only reason why I was so looking forward to it was because I saw it as a way, if not the only way, to put my English into use and make improvements. The bigger challenge (also a motivation) was to overcome the stage fright – okay so we don’t actually have a stage in the class and except for my previous modest modeling experience I have never set foot on a stage – not as an actress anyway – but you know, figuratively. To be even more honest, I have never given the acting career the slightest thought (though I do frequently dream of being rich and famous one day, but that really doesn’t count) as, to me, it never sounded as an interesting way to make a living. So besides an English-improvement tool, the acting class merely represented an overcome-your-stage-fright therapy to me.

And I was right. I was totally right! So right to not have thought of acting as a possible way to earn a living because I stink at it. Completely and totally! (Oh, and speaking of which, I think I should… I feel totally sorry for my classmates for having to watch my terrible performances every week – so sorry you guys, if I could somehow – anyhow – make it less of a torture for you, trust me, I so would, but I can’t. And don’t worry, I’m not planning to break into the industry, I’m not planning to be a female version of William Hung) – okay, moving on, what was I saying – oh yea: I stink. But it sucks, really. It sucks to be unable to do anything to stop stinking.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I think you don’t study to become an actor, you are born one and by studying it you refine what you already have. If you suck, you simply suck. Therefore there’s really not much I can do about all the stinking thing. It’s not like anything I’ve done before. I didn’t know much about painting but I took a course and now have a few very beautiful paintings under my belt (none of which could possibly ever be considered a masterpiece, but you got the general idea). I didn’t know how to cook but I bought a cook book (okay maybe more than just A cook book and I ended up using recipes from an Australian website instead, but it still counts), made a few meals and have been requested to make some more since then. I didn’t know how to play piano but I took a course and now I rock the Fur Elise song. Ok, maybe “rock” is not the right word, maybe it’s just “play it well”, and “the Fur Elise” song may represent only the beginning of the song, but the point is I did learned or somehow managed to adapt the new ability. The same was with Salsa and other dance classes and I could go on and on. Unlike acting.

The funny thing is, as much as I’d like to save my classmates few dozens of times of total torment, as much as I know there’s nothing I can do to stop stinking, I still want to do it! I’m even more eager to get better, to make progress – even the slightest. Not for the sake of the English-improvement possibility or the stage-fright therapy – but because the whole thing bugs me so much I want to kick it in the ass, take its head and shove it in the toilet and flush it like twenty times!!!!

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